Magnolia Cassabella

2011-04-29 [Duredhel]: Ok the char is not bad, but there's some things I'd retouch. As usual, the power, I'd say tone it down a bit and set up a scale. For example, no friggin way she can kill someone by blowing a kiss. Maybe if she touches you for a split second, you feel nauseous and dizzy, a few seconds you get a headache and lose your balance, a minute might make you pass out, and a few minutes could put you in a coma or kill you. Toxins can also build over time so several small touches can count as a big one. The other thing is... she hasn't had a normal conversation with anyone since she was 14... who the hell tattoo'd her? I've worked at a parlor and we didn't tattoo a 14 year old on their own. What's more, since her power started out early, she could've killed the tattoo artist. Also, there's nothing in her history to indicate she'd even know how to handle a gun or a bow and arrow. These are both tools that require training to be used appropriately or a lot of practice. I doubt she's had any of those, specially at 17 and without having had constant interaction with someone. Daniela, for example, has a gun but she just found it, she's a horrible shot, she closes her eyes and looks away when she shoots and the recoil sends it shooting up. So yah, look into that.

2011-04-29 [La Luna]: OKay, Thanks Dur, I'll work on it.

2011-04-29 [La Luna]: Like this?

2011-04-29 [Duredhel]: Aye, it looks good. What kind of gun does she use tho? if her dad took her hunting, I imagine it's not a pistol.. can an 11 year old handle the recoil of a rifle? :/.
The other thing is "She has never even gotten her first kiss yet many have tried." It strikes me as Mary-sueish (but I might be wrong). What kind of world is this where people try to kiss girls that won't talk to them? In any case, neither of those are deal breakers, so I say it's good, not perfect, but good.

2011-04-29 [La Luna]: Ah, yeah, I get it That kiss thing was from before I had other stuff, forgot to take it out xP

2011-05-01 [Duredhel]: So... what exactly happened between Light & Magnolia for her to think the former is an egotistic bitch? O,o

... remember RPing 101... character's can't read other character's sheets.

2011-05-01 [La Luna]: She watches others interact and Light usually acts like that

2011-05-01 [Duredhel]: She does? O,o

2011-05-01 [La Luna]: Yes, It kinda keeps her from going crazy and she is fairly Judgmental

2011-05-01 [Figgy]: Light is usually pretty quiet XD She really only talks if she has alcohol in her system or she's with Shade or Addy, or trying to piss off Shana. She definitely doesn't go around being boastful, though she is a bitch XD

2011-05-01 [Figgy]: I get if your character thinks that, maybe, but is there a specific instance that she saw her, maybe intoxicated, picking on Shana or something? That would make more sense.

2011-05-01 [La Luna]: Ah, I should fix that to say she has a bad attitude

2011-05-01 [Figgy]: Better XD

2011-05-01 [La Luna]: xP Sorry

2011-05-01 [Duredhel]: It's usually good to watch out for what's called metagaming. Before writing what your character knows or thinks, ask yourself "does my character know this because *I* know this? if not.. when did she witness or hear something that would make her think this way?"

2011-05-01 [La Luna]: Oh, Thank you Dur, that'll help.

2011-05-09 [Veltzeh]: Wait, how long has Magnolia been in the mansion?

2011-05-09 [La Luna]: Um, maybe a week? I'm not sure, Figgy would probably know..

2011-05-11 [Duredhel]: Ok yeah :/ seriously, we talked about metagaming before, now we're gonna talk about sticking to your story.

Magnolia acts absolutely nothing like her bio says she should act. Making your character a shut-in or shy is not making ONE post in which she's shy and then she opens up to everyone. Seriously, this is not only for you Luna, but for a LOT of the newer players, stick to what you write. If you want character development, that's great, but it doesn't happen over a post, or an hour, or a day. Characters change over weeks, months or years.

I get that you, Basco, Danboo and Arctic are just beginners, which is why we get so adamant about trying to coach you, we want to hold the level of RPing here to a high standard. If you write something in personality, stick through with it. At the risk of tooting my own horn, check how Dani plays out, and then consider you've made out Magnolia to be much more extremely introverted than her in the bio.

2011-05-11 [La Luna]: Sorry Duredhel! I really need to work on this, I'll try to stick to it some more!

2011-05-16 [Duredhel]: XD Seems Magnolia always likes the last person she's talked to best.

2011-05-16 [La Luna]: She doesn't really talk so when ever she does it makes her like them more XP

2011-05-16 [Duredhel]: O,o... evidence points to the contrary.

2011-05-16 [La Luna]: Wait what?

2012-03-30 [La Luna]: O: Her birthday passed! Better update that age!

2012-09-15 [Duredhel]:

2012-09-15 [La Luna]: Awww! She's so cute :3 Thanks Dur! I love it!

2012-10-17 [La Luna]: Mag is in the Den I believe, waiting on Ivan